


Not Everyone's Back Door Is Easy And Available

by Yamiyoru



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Crack, Dark Comedy, Dick Jokes, I don't write PWP, M/M, NOT PWP, Vulgarities, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 21:06:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8769322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamiyoru/pseuds/Yamiyoru
Summary: Hijikata finding out Gintoki is a Omega and his balls pays for it. A short drabble that I wanna try. Pure crack, which I’m terrible at. Not PWP.





	

**Author's Note:**

> While I was rolling around from insomnia, the idea to make Gintoki a Omega popped into my mind and I wanted to write it. Why? Because Gintoki is so achingly Alpha that I find it more interesting to put him into a Omega position.

**Not Everyone's Back Door Is Easy And Available**

Never in his right mind would Hijikata ever entertain the idea of Gintoki and Omega as a singularity but what he’s witnessing right now couldn’t be anything else. Yorozuya sitting on the floor, propped up against the bedroom wall with half lidded, lust filled eyes. The snow like skin flushed pink and the hands that were usually digging a nose or ear, were further south between the well toned legs, doing what everyone knows as private matters in very “private” areas.

Normally, the Demon Vice Commander would have drawn his sword by now and swung it down on the natural perm for inappropriety. Or vice versa, with the Yorozuya bringing the bokken down onto his face for interrupting whatever illegal activities the gang was doing and shamelessly claiming it’s legit work.

Any other day, Hijikata might have.

However, that afternoon, Hijitaka stood frozen in the doorway while Gintoki moved closer to the corner, to where his trusted wooden sword laid. He sweared those red eyes were glowing in the shadow and watching him like a predator. If he valued his life, he should leave.

And yet, despite the obvious aggression towards him, Hijikata remained grounded. Not because of the scandalous view as he has seen Gintoki Jr. more times than he could count but _the scent_ ; one of a fertile omega in the room. He should praise his nicotine damaged nose for doing its job in picking up the scent but it’s too much for his tar clogged lungs and olfactory glands to handle. In response, Hijikata’s breaths came out rushed and sweat drops formed on his forehead from his illogically climbing temperature. Clearing his throat, he tugged at his cravat to air his neck and mind you, it’s a afternoon in the dead of winter. 

By then, any self respecting and dignified officer would have left but the over stimulation kept him planted to the spot and sent his mayo reduced brain into overdrive. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together, to realize what he has just barged into but Hijikata’s too deep in denial to care and ignore the echoing revelation in his ears. 

_Yorozuya is a Omega...in heat…_   
_Yorozuya is a Omega...in heat…_  
_Yorozuya is a Omega...in heat…_

_No, no, no. no. There’s just no way._

Hijikata refused to accept it and took a long drag of his cigarette. Biting down hard on the bud, Hijikata sort of reasoned with himself. 

This was the infamous Shiroyasha they were talking about! Everything the white perm has done so far had screamed Alpha, Alpha, Crazy, ALPHA!! Which Omega lived their lives in such high profile, going around to save the country time and again (and wrecking havoc in equal proportions.) Not to mention the height, built and prowess, holding his own in a fight of one to a hundred.

And he’s a Omega?! Just how fucked up was Mother Nature in this universe!

‘Ok, calm down, Mayora.’ The raven told himself as he lit his fifth cancer inducing stick in a row, not noticing anything wrong with the words and worked himself into taking deep breaths and will himself to slow his racing heart. ‘Let’s do the maths. There are only two persons here.’ 

One would be himself and the last he checked, Hijikata Toushirou was a Alpha with a functioning rod and balls. That automatically meant the other person in this spacious 1LDK, which seemed to be getting smaller and increasingly confined by the second, with his eyes zoning into the Yorozuya in the corner.

It could only be Sakata Gintoki. 

Once he accepted the fact that Yorozuya’s a Omega, his Alpha instincts kicked in, stronger at the scent of a possible mate. It was his cue to leave. He really should before he does anything he would regret. The Demon Vice Commander had way more self control than this. He’s not a beast and he wouldn’t take advantage of a Omega in heat. Especially not if it’s _the_ Sakata Gintoki, who’s the Omega in question, clutching his bokken tightly and ready to attack anytime. His balls wouldn’t live to see another day.

Except the story would end there so against his better judgement, Hijikata took a step closer, towards Gintoki. The next thing he knew he was flying across the street, taking with him whatever was left of the window and landing flat over the freezing cement floor. 

Picking himself up, Hijikata heard a mocking voice, belonging to this one person he least wanted to see now, telling him in a condescending tone, ‘Hijikata san. I know you’re desperate to get laid but to assault Danna is despicable.’ 

As he thought, Sougo, the bastard was kneeling beside him, wearing the familiar smirk that Hijikata wanted to bash into the Captain’s skull. Making no attempt to help their Vice Commander, Sougo turned his head to looked up at the Yorozuya Office and in a softer tone, he revealed, ‘*tsk* I was sure Danna will finish him off. And they say a angry Omega in heat is murderous.’ 

Multiple veins popped on Hijikata’s head when he heard those words. Sougo knew and tricked him into coming here. Grabbing Sougo’s coat, HIjikata was prepared to settle this for once.

‘SOUGO! YOU BASTARD!’ 

‘Ah~ An officer attacking a Omega in heat and distress. Hijikata san, how could you sexually assault Danna when he’s most vulnerable?’ Cupping his hands around his mouth, Sougo pointedly directed the words at the Izakaya on the first floor, louder but in the same uncaring tone. 

Hijikata should have choked this brat there and then but he had bigger problems to worry as at the moment, the wooden door chose to open and slam loudly into place. Holding it open was China and surrounding her was a murderous aura.

‘You son of a bitch...’

Without a second word, she chased the two down the streets while screaming nonsense like ‘they had tainted her beloved son’ and ‘she can’t marry her Gin chan to anyone anymore.’ 

The day of the Demon Vice Commander ended rather eventfully with China kicking him in the balls, hard and smacking Sougo into the river. Her parting words were ‘touch Gin chan again, I’ll BBQ your rod and balls’ and a flick of her nose dirt, she left. 

_I HAVEN’T DONE SHIT TO HIM!_

**Author's Note:**

> Conclusion is if Gintama is a Alpha/Omega universe, Mother Nature is out to get them with a vengeance. 
> 
> Seriously, what is Gintoki’s skin tone? I thought he is an albino but he’s darker than Kagura and sun bathes like a champ so he might just be a case of Leucism _but_ he has red eyes….And during the episode, when he was forced to dress up as Paako, he told Katsura to go out and play because the latter has an unhealthy pale complex and I stared at the two...they have the same skin tone!! Colouring mistake?


End file.
